"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

"Husbands, Love Your Wives"

Okay, so if wives are supposed to submit to their husbands in all things, and husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loves the church, then what is a husband (supporter, provider, leader) supposed to do when a conflict arises? I’m not talking about a small conflict, like what color to paint the kitchen, but a larger, long-term conflict – a relationship thing. 

Ephesians 5:22-25 
22Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body.  24And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ. 25Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

While it’s true that wives should submit themselves completely to their husbands (v. 24), it’s verse 25 that keeps me awake at night because it tells me to love my wife “as Christ loved the church, giving His life for it.”   
What???  I am commanded to give my life for my wife???  

As a matter of fact, I am, and I’m not supposed to complain about it.  The inference in this verse for me is sacrifice.  In times of conflict, when my wife and I are at a relationship impasse, I am supposed to sacrifice my own wants for hers, according to the Word of God, even if it means frustration and unfulfilled desires.  Even if it means forever.  (Even if it means that I won’t live to see that ’64 Mustang in its rightful place - my driveway.)  It means that I should demand nothing, but rather lay aside my wants / needs / desires in deference to hers.  I must sacrifice everything for her.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, for sure.  To be honest, I have intense, ongoing internal struggles with my desires; but I made a promise when I placed the ring on my wife’s finger and said, “I will.”  If I want to be a good Christian husband (and I do), then I will give my life for her.   

I will continue to pray, learn, and grow as a husband (please pray for me) as I continue my journey toward a one-flesh marriage with my beloved.

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