"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Monday, April 16, 2012

Mailbag Monday: Romancing the Wife

This week's reader mail is from an unromantic male.  Here is part of his email ...

I don't do the romantic thing very well.  My wife is the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to show her how much she means to me.  Is there a list of good romantic ideas the average man can use to show his wife how great she is? 

The best gifts come from the heart, so you're starting off on the right track! 

There are many romantic ideas out there.  It's just a matter of finding the right one(s) for you and your bride.   I've tried most of these.  To be honest, some worked and some didn't.  If your wife is the kind who will "play along," so to speak, then most of these will be a piece of cake to pull off.  Bottom line: only you know your bride.  You know her likes and dislikes (or at least you should).  If she's the sentimental type, pick something that will tug on her heartstrings.  If she's playful, pick a romantic, flirty game.  If loves to read, perhaps a romance novel and some "alone time" so she can actually read it.

Here is a partial list things I have tried.  Again, some worked, some didn't.  You decide what will work for you.  Don't "surprise" her with a new Swiffer unless you are VERY sure she'll see the romance in this oh-so extravagant gift.
  • Send her an e-card.  Many of them are free and very, very cute.
  • Are you stopping at the grocery store on your way home?  Most grocers sell flowers now.  They're much less expensive than the same flowers from your local florist.
  • Does she have a favorite decadent treat?  Maybe a special piece of chocolate?  Pick one up on the way home and put it on her dinner plate so it's there when she sits down to eat.
  • Call her at lunch time to tell her you love her.  After she recovers, ask if there is anything she wants you to pick up on the way home.
  • Cook dinner, wash the dishes, and put the kids in bed (make sure you brush their teeth first).

    For those husbands who are on the same page as their wives, and sort of speak the same "sexual language," you can try some of these
  • Try some toothbrush play.
  • Flirt with her via text message.  Maybe even start your own "flirt channel."
  • Play an intimate board game, or download a sexy game for your computer.
Whatever you do, make sure it comes from the heart, and make sure it's something personal and meaningful to her.  It doesn't have to cost a ton of cash, either.  My wife loves Jack Link's spicy beef sticks.  She also loves Ferrero Rocher chocolates.  Each of these treats costs about a dollar.  She loves them and I lover her, so it gives me joy to surprise her from time to time.

Of course, if this breaks character for you (in other words, if being romantic just isn't something you normally do), then it will take some time to get used to doing romantic things.  By the same token, it will take your wife some time to get used to receiving romantic gestures.  She'll probably be suspicious at first, but keep going.  You'll soon turn into a romantic husband ... well, sort of.

From the inside out,


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