"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Is My Wife Happy?

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Do I make my wife happy?  That question has been on my mind.  Do I make her truly happy, or do I mostly get on her nerves?  I believe the latter is true, most days anyway.

Here are a few facts:
I am lazy.  She is not.
I like to relax.  She likes to work.
I let the kids get away with too much.  She doesn't.
I'm a slob.  She's as neat as a pin.
I'm disorganized. She's organized down to the last detail.

Does my laziness, disorganization, lack of discipline, and slob-li-ness (is that even a word?) and overall bad behavior cause her harm?

Yes, I believe it does.  It is my job to love my wife like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).  Also, it is my job to take care of her and make sure she feels safe and secure.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7)

Are there steps I can take to treat her with more respect?  
Is there something I can do right now?

I still have a long, long way to go.

  • I have to get out of bed first.  When I am showered, dressed, and ready to start my day, things seem to fall into place better for her (us).  When I stay in bed later the whole day feels rushed and disorganized.
  • I have to be involved with the kids, knowing where they are and what they are doing.  When I am caught unaware of potential trouble in backyard-dom, I feel as though I let her down by not "being there" to circumvent trouble.
  • I have to be aware of my appearance.  She likes me to be clean-shaven, hair cut appropriately, nicely dressed (clean, matching clothes), etc.  When I don't take care of those things it shows her that I'm not willing to take her feelings into account.  I don't want to do that to her. 
  • I have to get some work done every day.  Any day that I don't get something done around the house is a day that I have disappointed her.  The state of our home is very important to her, so it needs to important to me as well.  And for the record, I'm not talking about things like changing the little kids, or making dinner, or any of my other regularly scheduled tasks. I'm referring to home improvement stuff that is on the "honey-do" list.
  • I have to be sure she doesn't overdo it and become exhausted keeping up with her schedule.  I have to insist that she stop and rest.
It seems like a lot, but when I take care of these things I'm speaking her love language.  She feels cared for, safe, and secure when I'm on top of things and when I accomplish something during the day.  Otherwise she feels overwhelmed and frustrated. It's my job to be considerate as I live with her, and treat her with respect.  It isn't very considerate to constantly frustrate her.

Lately I haven't done a very good job.  I need to make some changes. I have to start speaking her love language more fluently so she feels secure and loved.

From the inside out,


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