"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Temptation By The Sea

On the beach.  On the boardwalk.  At the store.  Whenever we go on vacation there is a veritable smorgasbord of temptation.

The girls young and old in itsy bitsy bikinis of all shapes and colors.  Some women look bad in them.  Some look ... um ... less than bad.  All of them open the door to sexual temptation.

Let's face it - guys are guys.  We are going to look at that stuff.  That's why many of them wear itsy bitsy swimwear.  Not to mention the other stuff that isn't swimwear - also tempting.

We are spending this week at the beach, and I can tell you that even though my wife and family are all around me, the temptation of lust that comes with looking at scantily clad females is overwhelming at times..  I can't help but look - they're right there in front of me.

Seeing the female body has an affect, both mentally and physically, on men, myself included.  We're wired that way.   

What's a husband to do when a little blond thingy bounces around right in front of him?

  • Pray.  Ask God to take away any arousal you might have when faced with sexual sin.  God has promised that we would not be tempted more than we could handle.  Pray to him for deliverance from sexual temptation.  
  • Funnel all the desire toward your wife.  That's why she's there.  Drink water from your own cistern, And fresh water from your own well. 16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be yours alone, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19).  
  • Look the other way.  Sometimes the simplest solution is the best. Make a covenant with your eyes.  I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. (Job 31:1)
When I am faced with this kind of lustful temptation, I immediately turn that attention toward my wife who was given to me by God as a help-meet.   I also pray to the Lord for deliverance from my impure thoughts.  Many times it isn't possible to look the other way, covenant or no covenant.

With prayerful diligence you and I can overcome this intruder who sneaks into our homes and marriages. I ask for your prayer for myself and every husband out there who faces sexual temptation.


  1. What if I channel all these thoughts and feelings toward my wife and she rejects me? What if she doesn't understand the whole help meet idea and thinks that I should just put up with it?

    1. 1 Peter 3:7 tells us, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

      In other words, you have to put up with it ... to a point. To truly respect you wife means to tell her what's on your mind as well. You cannot push it aside and think that it will just blow over. Talk to her in an understanding way about your feelings and keep loving her.

    2. For a long time I didn't understand about my husband's overwhelming sexual needs. They were vastly different from my own. But, our sexual issues were just the symptom of some deeper issues within the marriage. Maybe there are some other issues aside from the physical? Communication is the key to unraveling and healing and rebuilding.

      Great post,TB. Esp.good for my mostly male crew since we live at the beach, I'm forwarding.....

    3. Thank you, Pearl. You're right. Communication is the key. The more open we are with our communication, the more we will understand each other, the more intimate our relationship will become.

      Men do have overwhelming sexual needs. Having a girl flaunt her body in front of them only elevates the situation.

    4. Thank you. Yes, I think there are some underlying problems and communication is one of them. I think Pearl hit the nail on the head. My sexual needs are overwhelming and either I haven't communicated well or she hasn't heard. Anyway, thank you. I will keep working on the communication thing. Please pray for me.

  2. Excellent post! Thank you for speaking it right out there for all to see... it's necessary.

    Welcome aboard the CMBA!


    1. Thank you, Jason! The Lord has placed on my heart the need to say things clearly without mincing words. I hope to be a help, and never a stumbling block.

      Thanks for the welcome to CMBA. It's great to be aboard!

  3. I think it is important for women to realize that when a husband sees another woman and finds her attractive or even arousing it really has nothing to do with us, but rather it is part of who he is as a man. It took me a LONG time to realize that just because my husband finds another woman beautiful, even in a respectful way, it doesn't mean he finds me less beautiful. There is no comparison. I'm his wife! I think a man, in general, sees a woman and thinks "wow, she's good-looking," but what we women feel is that he's saying, "Wow, I wish my wife looked like her" or "I'd bang that!"

    What is disrespectful to the wife is when he deliberately looks..when he leers, when he allows the attractive and arousal to take up residence.

    I love how you say that you look at your wife, instead. What a beautiful, respectful and loving thing to do!

    As a woman, I am more visually inclined than most women and I make it a point to look away from someone I know my eyes would linger on. Otherwise, I remember to look at people as people, rather than objects.

    To leer and to let the attraction grow is not only a sin against your spouse, but against God, your marriage, yourself, AND the person you're leering at.

    1. I look at my wife because I know that she was given to me by my Heavenly Father, for the specific purpose of knowing me in every way. Some chick in a bikini isn't going to "know" me in the same way. I love my wife more than any other earthly creature, and when I see a beautiful young thing who gets my "attention," I always know that my wife is all that, too, PLUS she knows me and I know her, PLUS I love her and she loves me. Why would I linger on something that is, frankly, not as good as my wife?

      It is important to not let our eyes linger. We are encouraged to get married as alternative to burning with lust. To me that means I must turn to my wife whenever improper lust becomes a possibility. My wife then has the obligation to accept and help me turn away from sin by providing sexual intimacy when I need it.

      It works both ways. As you said, some women are more visually inclined than most, and husbands must be aware and ready to get down to business as well.