"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

A Husband Is Trustworthy: CMBA Blog Challenge, Day 2"

The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association has challenged bloggers to publish a new post every day for thirteen days.  This is day 2 of the challenge.

In yesterday’s post I explained how my son’s boy scout inspired me to think about my role as a husband.  When they stood and recited the Boy Scout Law during a recent ceremony, it caused me to thinks about the twelve points of the law and how they apply to husbands and to Christian marriage. 

If you aren’t familiar with the Boy Scout Law, it goes like this:

A scout is:
clean, and

  1. A Husband Is … Trustworthy. 

Trustworthy. Adj. worthy of confidence : dependable

Being worthy of confidence means you can be depended on – you are reliable.  In other words, you do what you say you’ll do. 

Matthew 5:37 says, Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”(NIV).  If I apply this verse to my life, then I will always keep my word.  If my answer is “yes,” I will keep my word.  If my answer is “no,” I will not cower away from that answer.  I will simply stand by my word.

Applying this to marriage, if my wife asks for something she needs and I have agreed to provide it, whether it be a more reliable vehicle or just a little help around the house, then I have to follow through and keep my word.  Anything else is sin. 

Now think about this:

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. (1 Corinthians 4:2-4)

 If I can’t be trusted to take care of the wife God has entrusted to my care, then God Himself will judge me for my sin.  That’s an awesome, humbling, frightening reality to ponder.  It doesn’t matter what other people say, whether they agree or disagree with how I handle my relationship with my wife.  The only thing that matters is that I strive to be a trustworthy servant who takes care of my beautiful bride.

That said, I am the chief of sinners in this area.  I do not always keep my word in my marriage.  There are plenty of times when I promise to do something, then I run out of time or energy, or I get called away on some “more important” business.    Sometimes I am just plain lazy.  Whatever the reason, it isn’t right. 

What, then, should a husband do when he falls short of being trustworthy?

First, pray for guidance.  Regaining trust is no easy task.  Husbands who have fallen in this area need to ask for help and support.  The Lord always helps me when I come to Him sincerely and with humility.  I only have to ask.

Secondly, confess and ask for forgiveness,  In my stubbornness, I often fail to see the log in my eye and therefore I do not ask for forgiveness.  When I am forgiven, I feel as though a weight is lifted from my shoulders, and I am free to start fresh without the need to hide behind my sin.

Thirdly, begin keeping your word.  Now that you have been given a fresh beginning, go forward and do what you say you'll do.  Be worthy of trust.  Be dependable.

Finally, be accountable to someone, whether it is a friend, a pastor, a neighbor, or a small group.  There is nothing quite as effective as a friend who will call you out on your sin.  Find someone who knows you - really knows you.

Christian husbands, by doing these things we will maintain trust in our marriages.  Our wives will feel loved and will be confident in our ability to be dependable leaders.  We will be good examples of the love of Christ and our marriages will be a witness to the rest of the world.


  1. Awesome post!!! Very wise counsel! Thanks for sharing:)

    1. Thank you for your kind words. It's always my hope that someone somewhere will be helped (even very slightly) by what I do here.

  2. This is one of those basic things that we can forget about. But because it's basic, marraige really does not work right if there is any question about our trustworthiness!

    1. Amen, Paul. We have to mean what we say and say what we mean, and we must do what we say we'll do. If there is any question about whether a husband will follow through, he can cause considerable damage to his marriage and to his Christian witness.