"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

 Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about.

Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!


1. Sex Within Marriage
How To React to A Sexual Awakening - How would you react?

2. Elevate Your Marriage
Guilt Trips And Your Marriage - Stop bringing up the past!

3. Hot, Holy, and Humorous
Are You In A Sexual Rut? - Is it a routine or a rut? There is a difference.

4. Marriage Gems
Don't Be afraid To Underachieve In Life to Better Achieve In Your Family Life: Lessons from a former Indianapolis Colt - Are you putting too much into the wrong areas of your life?

5. Marriage Life
MT Project: It's Not about the Money - What is the underlying cause when couples fight over money?

6. One Flesh Marriage
The Contentious Wife - Don't be one of these.

7. Passionate Christian Marriage
Why Submission Isn't Scary - They key is to trust in the Lord.

8. Pearl's OysterBed
Just Talk - A link to an excellent collection of questions to get the conversation started.

9. The Alabaster Jar
5 Ways to Bond With your Husband - an excellent list of tips.

10. The Respected Husband
Let Go! From Passive Husband to a Husband With Passion - What causes you to be passive?

Saturday, May 18, 2013

It Depends

So, you and your bride have gone round after round after round on the same topic.  You feel God leading you and your marriage in a direction, and your bride is resistant for whatever reason. what do you do?

Do you give up or keep fighting?  When is it time to stop pushing forward and accept a hefty dose of reality?  When do you resign yourself to the fact that at this moment your marriage is as good as it will ever be?  How do you make the decision to put aside the plan in order to make your bride (and your marriage) more peaceful and happy?

I've been read about this lately, and the solution seems more difficult than it appears.  A good, middle-of-the-road answer is "it depends."  But that seems like a cop out.  Taking the easy way out.  The low road.

However, "it depends," is the correct answer.  Let me explain.

In Galatians 6:9 we read, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

"Weary" in this verse refers to becoming discouraged or exhausted.  This is something many husbands can identify with, as we strive for the umpteenth time to lead our wives and children toward the goal God has set forth in our hearts. We often become exhausted, especially when we can clearly see areas where the Holy Spirit is guiding toward growth, but we are met with resistance from our wives and families.

When it becomes a choice of going down that path again where the discussion always ends the same way or just going along to keep the peace, A weary husband often submits to his wife's authority, even though we know it isn't what God wants.  I this case we should consider the consequences.  Will it hurt their marriage?  What will the relationship look like a month from now?  A year?  Ten years?  Will they grow closer together or drift farther apart?  Will she be able to respect him?

Husbands, if God is leading your marriage in a direction that you are sure will bring you closer toward the one-flesh union He wants for you, keep pressing on.  Do not stop trying to turn things around. Hold on to the vision God gave you and carry on.  Your persistence and faith will be rewarded.

However, if you are pushing an issue that doesn't involve improving your marital oneness, but rather a selfish agenda, then you must consider the same consequences.  Your self-centeredness will destroy your marriage; You and your wife will drift apart. After all, the above verse says we should not grow weary of doing good, not bad.

So, I guess the answer, "It depends," is after all the correct answer.  If we are truly following God's direction as we lead our marriages,  then we must continue to lead in that direction, whether our brides agree or not.  I'd be a fool to say they will instantly understand and submit, but the fact is that we will go on having the same conversations, arguing the same points, hitting the same wall.  But God knows our hearts and the hearts of our brides, and He will change things in His time if we are faithful.

On the other hand, if you are trying to mold your bride to comply with your selfish goals just to make your life more pleasant, then you need to confess and repent.  Over time you will destroy your marriage.

Husbands, we are responsible for leading our wives toward a knowing one-flesh marriage.  It's up to us to remain true to the picture God has planted in our heart for our marriages.  We can't force our wives into submission - it has to be their choice.  Sometimes they'll submit and many times they'll rebel.  Nevertheless, we must not grow weary of doing good. 

  

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Special Lady: A Tribute

On this Mother's Day I want to pay tribute to a special lady ...

She brings a smile to my face when she walks into the room, wakes up early to make my coffee just the way I like it and kisses me goodbye every morning when I go to work.

She raises our children, seeing that they are fed and cared for.  She teaches them what they need to know, reads them stories, gives them baths and advice, fixes their boo-boos and brushes their hair.  She says "no when she has to and "yes" when she has to, even when it's difficult.

She greets me with a kiss when I arrive home,let's me have the remote (most of the time), washes and irons my shirts a hundred times a month, pours me a glass of wine when I need it, rubs my back when I need it.

She takes care of me when I'm sick, driving me to doctors and hospitals, and waits patiently all day until the doctors are finished. She puts my pills in one of those fancy "days of the week" pill dispensers and makes sure I take them every day..

She pursues me as much as I pursue her, preferring me over all others.  Whether it is a hug, a cuddle, or much more, she is there for me.  I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine.

Tells me she loves me, even when she doesn't like me, and holds her tongue often. She makes me take walks and eat healthy foods, stands beside me, supporting me. She knows me and treats me like royalty.


Our Heavenly Father kept a very special lady tucked away in plain sight, bringing her out into the light in His time, and said, "This one is for you."
 
And I am so grateful to Him for giving me a beautiful wife, a mother to my children ...

A special lady.

I love her with all my heart.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

 Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about.

Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!



1. Redeeming Marriag
They Didn't Even Smell of Smoke - What do you smell of?

2. The  Generous Husband
Is Your Marriage Out of Balance? - What throws your marriage off balance?

3. Journey To Surrender
Five Big Marriage Mistakes - Are you making any of these mistakes?

4. Simple Marriage
How Does Your View Get In the Way? - If we keep thinking it's hard, it will be hard.

5. The Forgiven Wife
Oral Blessings - Yes, it's about that.

6. The Pure Bed's Blog
Sex: Grace Behind the Bedroom Door - Do you hyper-spiritualize sex?

7. Do Not Disturb
Learning to Listen - a few good tips for the listening impaired.

8. The Alabaster Jar
When You're in Need of Rest - Where do you go?

9. Elevate Your Marriage
"In you anger" - Don't go to bed angry.


10. The Generous Wife
What Do We Look Like? What do you want people to see when they look at you and your spouse?