"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about. 


Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!

1. Simple Marriage
Being Bored Isn't Boring - Embrace the boredom!

2. Encourage Your Spouse
Love Does Not Envy - Envy isn't what you think it is.

3. Happy Wives Club
Awesome Activity You Can Do With Your Husband & Friends - Travel the world without leaving town!

4. Peaceful Wife Blog
Understanding Men, Testosterone, and Temptation, Part 1 - An explanation of the daily male hormonal cycle. 

5. Fighting For Marriage
A Husband With Dreams Needs a Wife With Vision - "for as long as you both shall live."

6. Elevate Your Marriage
Serving vs. Needing - How do you choose to love your spouse?

7. Do Not Disturb
So Long Distraction .... - Are distractions destroying your sex life?

8. Hot, Holy, and Humorous
Wives Should Be Lovers, Too - Don't stop trying!

9. Marriage Life
MT Project: Marriage Requires Selflessness - Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

10. Passionate Christian Marriage
Intimacy - "Stop hiding, please...."

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about. 


Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!


1. The Generous Husband
Holding Back Reduces Quality - Let go and enjoy your God-given desires!

2. The Husband Blog: Square 1
Priorities - Do you have priorities ahead of your wife?

3. Up with Marriage
Be the Change - "Whatever you want to receive in your marriage, be the first to give it"

4. To Love, Honor, and Vacuum
Three Keys to Building a Solid Marriage - Excellent advice from guest blogger Teri Lynne Underwood.

5. Encourage Your Spouse
Be a Friend - Encourage Your Spouse - Are you a real friend to your spouse?

6. Happy Wives Club
The One Thing All Happy Wives Have in Common - How is your marital perspective?

7. Always Learning
Naked With a Smile - Wives - do you serve your boss more that you serve your husband?

8. The Forgiven Wife
The Challenge of Respect - The Respect Dare in an egalitarian marriage.

9. ONE Extraordinary Marriage
10 Date Ideas You Should Do With Your Spouse - Great ideas!

10. Shocking Marriage
Keep Her Glass Full - Husbands, How well do you take care of your wife's needs?

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Your Grandfather Is Speaking.

Listen up, kids!  Your grandfather is speaking. 

He always got up early - long before the family.  He had breakfast and went to work before we were aware it was morning. 

He made sure there was food on the table and clothing on our backs.

He paid his bills, and sometimes ours, too.

He took us on wonderful vacations that didn't cost very much.  We swam and played.  We rode all the rides and cooked bacon over a fire.

Dinner out was an "all dressed up" affair. 

He patched up our scrapes and our bicycles.

Christmas was a wonderland of toys and surprises.

Valentines Day meant little heart-shaped boxes of candy for all of us.  And a big box for Mom.

He was Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  He was also the Tooth Fairy.

The animals chose him as their favorite.  So did the grandchildren.

He helped everyone in any way he could.  It didn't matter what time it was or how long it took.

He's gone now, and yet he lives on in me and in each of you.

So, listen up, kids!  Your grandfather is speaking.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about. 


Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!

1. Things that We have Heard and Known
I Make You Look Good - An unconventional yet Biblical look at sex and marriage. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY FRANK, OPEN LANGUAGE, THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU.  Otherwise, it's a refreshing, brutally honest post from a unique point of view.

2. Come Have A Peace
Marriage Monday - Waking Up - Have you fallen asleep in your marriage?

3. The Generous Husband
Comfort Zones - Comfort zones in marriage come in different sizes.  Are you a large or a small?

4. Up With Marriage
My Mouth ... My Marriage - How do you pray for your marriage?

5. Happy Wives Club
5 Reasons You Should Have A Marriage Mentor - Do you model your marriage after a thriving couple?

6. The Romantic Vineyard
Our Views Have Changed - How do you handle change in your marriage?  Is there dead wood that needs to be removed?

7. Do Not Disturb
Waiting for "The Mood" - Sex is important, Not just when you're in the mood.

8. Engaged Marriage
Build Your Emergency Fund: 5 Ways to Save On Bills - Can your marriage withstand a financial crisis?

9. Unbroken Woman
Respect and Admiration: A Man's Point of View - A guest post by Jason from "My Beloved Is Mine." He explains many ways his wife makes him feel respected.

10. Peaceful Wife
Sending Emails to Your Husband - A few useful tips for communicating with your husband in a way he will understand.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Love is ... A Clean Garage

I'm a bit of a foodie.  I love to cook, I love the whole thing from shopping for food to slicing the veggies to dismembering the chicken to simmering the sauce.  It's one of the services I provide.  It's one way I show my love for my bride and our family. 

You see, we took the survey at the end of Dr. Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages," and we discovered how to push each others' love buttons.  We now hold the secret of love.  I know exactly how to make my wife happy all the time!  Right?

Wrong.

Even though my wife's love language is "acts of service," if I don't get more specific with my acts of service she will still feel blah about my feelings for her.  The love language survey is a good place to start, but it's just that - a starting point.  Within those love languages there are a vast array of specifics.

I can cook and wash dishes, do all the shopping, mow the lawn, fix a leaking faucet, keep the cars in good repair, put the kids in bed, and any number of things that I consider to be "acts of service," but my wife will still feel unloved. 

Why?

Because she feels particularly comfortable and loved when her environment is pretty and organized.  That means gardening, painting, putting things away, even (*gulp*) cleaning the garage. Oddly enough, when I clean up and put away she feels loved in a way she needs.  All the cooking shopping and repairing in the world won't give her that.

In the same way, my love language is pretty much divided between acts of service and physical touch.  So if my wife does things for me just because she thinks she's "supposed to," or goes through the motions of touching to make me feel loved but she doesn't get specific in the ways I need to be served or touched, she's wasting her time.  Love languages are much more specific than that.    

So next time you think you are speaking your spouse's love language, stop and think about whether it really speaks love to her.  Don't just do it out of duty, and certainly don't do it with your hidden agenda in mind (admit it, we all have one).  Do it because you want her to feel loved the way she needs to feel loved.


Saturday, June 8, 2013

Weekly Top Ten

Saturdays at The Genuine Husband I post a weekly "top ten" list of the best blog posts for husbands and wives. Some weeks my picks will be more husband-oriented and sometimes more for wives.


Sometimes it will cover topics many churches are afraid to talk about. 


Always it will be a collection of posts from solid, Bible-based marriage blogs covering topics that are important in God's holy covenant of marriage.


So, without further ado, here are this week's top ten (numbered only for convenience.  Happy reading!

1. One Flesh Marriage
Godly Growing Together - Trying to grow your spiritual intimacy?  Maybe your couples' devotional is a little too much.

2. The Generous Husband
Excuse Me, This really Matters To Me - How do you let your spouse know what's really important to you? 

3. Simple Marriage
The Hidden Power In Your Marriage - Change yourself to change your spouse.

4. Happy Wives Club
6 ways to Flirt with Your Husband - Right Now! - 6 excellent tips to get things going.

5. Always Learning
How Do we Help Him Lead? - Do you have to control your marriage?

6. Elevate Your Marriage
Who is God in Your Marriage? - Which of these descriptions would you use to explain the role of God in your marriage?

7. Messy Marriage
Intimate Insecurities - What will it take to let your spouse in?

8. Spouse Dates
Is Romance Overrated?  Is romance really a good foundation for a lasting marriage?

9. Passionate Christian Marriage
How the Gospel Works In My Marriage - Has God saved your marriage through His Gospel?

10. Young Wife's Guide
Is Emotional Baggage Affecting Your Life? - The ABCs of getting rid of the baggage. 

Sunday, June 2, 2013

To Provide ...

"You should provide well for your family."

This message is clearly heard by almost every Christian husband I know.  Husbands must love their wives and provide for their households. Paul warns us about this in his first letter to Timothy.

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

I know what it means when someone refers to a husband as a good provider.  I also recognize it as the worldly viewpoint it truly is.  To be a good provider means to bring home a lot of money.  Right?



We have to be careful when we talk about providing for our families.  As husbands, we must be a living example of God's love poured out to our wives and families.  God's love is extravagant, far beyond what we deserve.  But let's not misunderstand.  God does not always give us everything we want.  He does, however, always gives us what we need.


How does this translate into my skills as a husband and provider?


The world tells us that to provide well means to have a high paying job. I don't have that.

The world says I should own at least a few acres of land. I own 1/4 acre, most of which is occupied by a house.

The world says I should take my family on a great vacation every year. Our annual vacation consists of one week with the entire extended family at my father-in-law's timeshare at the Jersey Shore.

Many husbands, like me, have to live within a strict budget to make ends meet.  We have to get a pound of value from an ounce of silver.  The result is that sometimes husbands have to forgo worldly generosity in order to provide for the needs of their households.

How does this affect me personally?

Nothing would make me happier than to be able to sell this little house and buy a huge place in the country that has everything everyone wants.  Lots of acreage (half wooded, half clear), climbing trees, huge vegetable garden, a bedroom for each person.  The whole kit and kaboodle.

But when you take, for example, a $100 bill and split it into twenty portions to accommodate the many budget categories of a household, you end up buying a solid but ugly $5 garage sale chair for the living room.  BOOM!  You have provided for your household.

The above example is slightly ridiculous but true.  Sometimes what a husband has to do is provide needs and develop a thick skin.  The wants of the household are important, but sometimes they have to come to fruition later on.

Just thinking out loud,

The Genuine Husband