"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Love Is A Feeling ... NOT.

We were watching a "Last Chance Detectives" video while on vacation (thunderstorms closed the beach for a while), when a line from the movie struck me inside like a hammer.

A boy and his grandfather were trying to repair a family heirloom - a compass that was given to the boy by his father - when the grandfather told a story about being lost in his plane during the war.  He told the boy about the conversation that occurred in the plane.  They each had a feeling that they should turn the plane in one direction, while the compass and other instruments indicated otherwise.

He said to the boy, "If we had listened to our emotions, we would have been lost, probably dead.  Following the compass, and not our emotions, is what brought us safely home."

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.  - Proverbs 28:26
Husbands and wives should heed the words of that grandfather. 

But aren't husbands and wives supposed to love each other?  Isn't love the strongest emotion in all of creation?

Well, no.  No, it isn't.

I can't find a verse in the entire Bible that says love is an emotion or a feeling.  Love is an action word. Ephesians 5:25 says I should love my wife as Christ loved the church, but not in terms of emotions.  I am supposed to use action to show love by giving myself up for her.  I'm supposed to sacrifice my own life if necessary to show love to her.

My wife is supposed to submit to me as to the Lord.  Whatever she does for me is service to the Lord.  whatever she denies me she denies the Lord.

Powerful, yes?  Also frightening.

Should we feel emotion?  Absolutely.  Should we be ruled by it?  certainly not.

What I'm saying is that God's Word is our compass, and that regardless of our emotions, His commands and instructions are the final word on our behavior.  Satan can speak volumes to us through our emotions.  He helps us justify our behavior by using faulty reasoning, guilt, etc.

Do not be fooled.  God wants husbands and wives to behave differently.  We are to be faithful to the vows we made, not to the emotions we feel.

So, when my wife wants me to do something for her that I don't feel like doing, rather than follow my emotions (my feelings), I must follow the Word of god and sacrifice my own wants and desires to do what will make her happy.

Likewise, when there is something I need from my wife, rather than follow her emotions, she must follow the instructions given to her by God.  She must submit.

Remember, love is an action, not a feeling.
 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.                      - Ephesians 5:17


  1. Totally agree with you. However, there are those who reject emptions and that's also harmful. God shows emotions (all three parts of the God head) and we are created in His image.

    Balance, always looking for balance.

    1. I agree that we need balance. My point is that when emotions overwhelm us and cloud our judgement (yeah ... like THAT ever happens) we need to defer to the Word rather than our emotions.