"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
Eph 5:25

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Making Godly Decisions For Your Marriage: 4 Steps

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Decisions, decisions ....

Husbands make a lot of decisions every day.  Some are quite easy. Should I get the french vanilla cappuccino or the mocha latte? Others are more difficult. Should we buy the house or stay in the apartment? 

If there's one thing I've learned about making decisions as a husband it's that I am often the least popular guy in the room.  Sometimes my decisions don't earn me the applause of my wife and family.  However, as the head of the family I must lead my family and care for them even if they (and I) don't like it.  

What should a husband do when faced with a difficult decision?

1. Pray

Always the first step, prayer will help clear up any indecision.  God will let you know which path to take if you listen and allow the Holy Spirit to nudge you in the right direction. Listen and follow that still, small voice.

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it (John 14:13-14)

2. Study

There are many resources out there to help you find the answer to virtually any question.  If you need to learn more before saying yea or nay, by all means research and learn about the pros and cons.  Ask people, go to the library, Google it.  Do the necessary background work to make an informed decision. 

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, (Proverbs 1:5)

3. Decide

When you have asked God for guidance and you have learned the facts, make your decision and let no one dissuade you from it if you are sure it Has the Lord's blessing.

Let your "Yes" be your yes and your "No," no, or you will be condemned (James 5:12)

4. Act

No decision will be of any use unless you put it to work in your life.  If you make a decision to move to a different town but stay in your house, your decision will mean nothing. Make sure you act on your choice and do so with the confidence that you have done your homework and prayed.

And every work that he undertook in the service of the house of God and in accordance with the law and the commandments, seeking his god, he did with all his heart, and prospered (2 Chronicles 31:21)
Husbands, it won't always be easy. You won't always be popular.  But if you lead your household in prayerful submission to God, your paths will be straight and your decisions will be blessed.


  1. Where is seek input from your wife?

    1. Good point. Shame on me for neglecting to mention it. I was approaching this post from the position of a husband who has already gone through the discussion phase and stands in the place where he has to make a final decision. I should have explained that more clearly at the beginning. My bad.

  2. This is potentially very damaging to a sacred covenant of God- marriage as it may be encouraging the "domineering" husband. James 3:1 I lovingly and respectfully plead with you to pray on this as your words could cause more pain and suffering for a wife and her children.

    1. I appreciate your concern. As I stated earlier, this post assumes all the discussion and prayer between husband and wife has already taken place but there is no agreement. Assuming a decision must be made, the husband is in fact the one who makes that decision as the God-given head of the household.

      James 3:1 warns against false teaching. Are you suggesting that I am incorrect to say that the husband is the head of the wife? I hope not.